The teacher asks the class to write a composition on football.
Tommy writes for a few minutes, and gives his composition to the teacher. It says: "Rain, no game."
Tommy: Will you punish a boy for a thing that he hasn't done?
Teacher: No, Tommy, I never punish boys for things they haven't done. And why do you ask?
Tommy: I ask because I haven't done my homework.
Boy (asks an old man): Why is your beard black and your hair white?
An Old Man: Because my head is 40 years older than my beard.
Grandfather: What is your mark in history?
Grandson: A four.
Grandfather: Oh, shame on you. When I was a pupil I had a twelve in history.
Grandson: But history was shorter then.
There are very many cars, buses, trolleybuses, trams in the street. A man is standing just in the middle of the street. He asks the policeman: "What is the shortest and the quickest way to the hospital?"
The policeman answers: "If you just stand where you are standing now, you will get there very quickly. This is the shortest and the quickest way to the hospital"
Teacher: In winter the days are short, in summer they are long. Can you tell me why it is so?
Tommy: Yes, sir, I can. Everything shrinks in winter because it is cold, and in summer, everything expands because it is warm..